Tis the season for office Christmas parties and of course I knew I’d be making appearances and of course I knew I’d be stressed because we’d have to leave the baby with a sitter.
First time…leaving the baby with someone…oh…my…thank God for wine! (For me, not the baby! What kind of a weirdo do you take me for?!)
At some point in your parental career, you need to have a babysitter or 2 lined up. You’ll need to go out, have fun, run errands, work on house projects, etc. If you don’t…you may slowly lose your mind and ended up wearing pajamas all day that cause you to do the ‘sniff’ test because you can’t remember the last time you changed your clothes, the date nor the time. (I may or may not be sitting here at 1am, writing this blog in my comfy pajamas…that I woke up in…had lunch in…yea…it was that kinda day)
The thing is while you may be a parent, you’re still an adult who needs ‘adult time’ One can only sing Baby Shark or watch Paw Patrol so many times…in a row…all day. (I’m thankful my daughter right now loves rock n roll!)
Back to the parties. Two of them…back to back. Friday was the radio station office party, Saturday was my husband’s office party…and we currently seem to have an endless line up of people ready to watch Charlotte at a moment’s notice. But at this point, the 1st round seemed only fair to have the grandparents watch her.
Friday, it was my in-laws who live 5 minutes away from the Xmas party venue. We made the call on the drive up that my husband would drop me off, then he’d drop off the baby and that would save me the pain of ‘the hand off’. Picture perfect.
That night I had my first glass of wine in nearly a year, she slept the entire time she was at her grandparents, and we had a great time! Night 1, just a few hours away from baby…in the books.
Saturday night was my parents turn to watch the baby, this time with a ‘hand off’. They claim I was stalling as I left the house but I just wanted to make sure they were comfortable, knew were everything was in the house, any questions about her schedule etc. But she was fine! Off to the party, another glass of wine, medium/rare cooked meat and soft cheeses (it’s epic when you can eat all those foods that have been banned from your diet for 9 months!), night 2, just a few hours away from the baby…in the books.
Maybe it was the glass of wine that eased my nerves or maybe it’s the fact that we have a great support system. That’s what this blog entry is really about, having the right people in your ‘village’. It really does take a village to raise a child and I’m thankful to have close to a small city instead of a village. If you’re expecting, just moved with you little one(s) or you’re starting out on this new Mom journey, too…start building your village.
Reach out to those around you on a daily, weekly or a few times a month basis. Try to distance those who are negative and don’t support you. (That may sound bizarre but there have been a handful of people in my own journey I’ve had to keep at arms length or just pull a ‘smile and nod’ thing when they offer crummy/negative advice). We have friends I text all the time who are expecting themselves VERY soon, parents of a toddler, single mom of teenager, colleagues, plus close family and the occasional cousin or two. All of them have helped in some way or another. Bringing food, offering (real) advice, checking in to see how my day was going or just telling me everything will be ok.
And I have to give props to my husband. Who every so often sends a text out of the blue or takes my face in his hands and says ‘you’re doing awesome…you’re a great Mom…Charlotte is so lucky to have you”. It’s exactly what I need sometimes. Because there are days I’m running around like super-mom, feeling on top of the world ready to tackle the next cool thing I saw on Pinterest, scrub the bathroom tub and balance the house budget all while baby is napping. But there are those other days that Moms, myself included, need to be reminded that carrying that child was awesome, giving birth was awesome, and while you’re baby won’t stop crying, spitting up, or you’ve gone through the roulette wheel of ‘are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Too hot? Cold? Need a diaper change?’…you’re still awesome!
Guys…if you’re not doing this for your wife, girlfriend, baby mama…DO IT! You don’t need to buy her a lavish gift, send a singing telegram or something. Just a simple text will do.
Because when you’re home alone with your baby you’re constantly second guessing yourself and wondering how worthy you are to be that little ones “Mom”. There are days you feel like a failure and you need that one person to pick you back up, be in your corner, your cheering squad…because sometimes it’s lonely. You’re stuck with your own second guessing thoughts all day and the only other person in the house is the tiny human that can’t speak, stares at your blankly and had no problem soiling themselves.
And for those who haven’t heard it yet today…
You’re doing great, and you’re awesome.