Here’s a toast
No really…literally a toast. Half eaten, left on the table and went cold because the baby was crying.
Allow me to explain.
To all new Moms, learn from my mistakes. Or make the same mistakes! Learn everyday and remember the best you’re doing right now may not be the greatest or what’s best for someone else OR it may be an example paving the way for another new Mom.
As a new Mom, it seems like everyday I do learn something new. (It’s either that or I’m spending WAY too much time on Pinterest.) And everyday I try to leave what I think I’ve completely screwed up the day prior, in the past, and start the day with a clean slate.
However, the one thing I seem to be continuously keep doing over and over and not learning from my mistakes….is taking care of myself.
Having a newborn, being a first time Mom, means your life changes. Your day used to start off with hitting the snooze button a few more times, stretching, taking your time finding an outfit you like, checking Instagram, and grabbing a cup of coffee as you head out the door…
Once the little one arrives (at least in my experience thus far) has been waking up at least twice between midnight and 6am for a dirty diaper and a feeding, sleeping another 5minutes tops after my husband leaves for work before she cries again and wants breakfast #2, cleaning up spit up, outfit changes (not mine), making silly noises in hopes to see a smile, rocking her to sleep, pacing and more rocking and swaddling….then it’s noon and I still haven’t touched my breakfast.
And there’s the problem.
The half eaten toast. This has been the symbol of my devotion and decline at the same time.
Read those prior paragraphs again. Notice I never mention MY breakfast, outfit, entertainment, or even make up.
While taking care of my daughter is my number one priority, I’ve learned (and still haven’t accepted) that I need to put myself first sometimes in order to put her first.
I know that sounds backwards. Hear me out.
Advice sometimes presents itself in the least expected places. At one of my daughter’s last pediatrician appointments, the Doc asked me how I was doing, eating sleeping etc. I replied with how the baby was eating, sleeping, etc. She quickly corrected me saying ‘No, YOU….how are YOU?’. I tried to brush it off and remind her that this appointment was about the baby, not me, I didn’t matter. She quickly reminded me that I need to be 100% to give her 100%. She compared it to being on a plane, when they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask FIRST then assist your child or person next to you.
That analogy has stuck with me every time I stop everything when I hear her cry. I mean everything. I’ve left the room wearing 1 sock, a pajama top and jeans. I’ve hopped out of the shower after 5 minutes post shampoo, pre conditioner and half soapy. I’ve left countless food on the table or counter only to go cold, stale or eaten by the dog (chicken salad, twice…I’d rather not talk about it ) I’ve left an entire bag of frozen strawberries on the counter for a smoothie. That discovery was made by my husband when he got home from work! For the record, I did get to make and consume said smoothie. But it was banana only instead of strawberry banana. It was a sad smoothie.
In all this ‘stopping everything’…I’ve forgotten to eat and drink enough water, which effects breastmilk production and energy. I’ve walked out of the house without make up on. My hands are cracked and dry because I keep forgetting to put on lotion after washing about a dozen bottles.
Today my mother reminded me to eat something. I said I had a granola bar. She gave me a look that said ‘no, something real’. Yesterday my husband reminded me that it’s ok the let her cry for a 1 second longer to put on a pair of socks or heaven forbid…pee. I’m not saying I leave my infant crying for hours. Good lord no! I mean at least now I let her exhale on the “aaaaa” part of the “waaaa” and finish putting on a pair of pants.
I think this life lesson applies in many other areas. You can give 100%, but only if you’re giving yourself 100%. It’s wonderful to give your all to someone, but you’re no good to someone if you’re passed out on the floor because you’re dehydrated and skipped 2 meals.
*For the record, I haven’t passed out of dehydration or because I skipped 2 meals…you can put the ‘get well soon’ cards away.