By now you’ve probably figured out I’m not your ‘traditional’ pregnant lady. I don’t post screenshots of my pregnancy tracking app stating how big the little nugget is compared to fruit, I don’t take weekly/monthly bump photos showing my progress, I really don’t like it when people touch my belly, and I’m a bit more comical and ‘matter of fact’ with things. I could chalk this up to the fact I’ve suffered 2 miscarriages and I’ve taken on the “I’m just rolling with it” attitude because I won’t be calm and feel like its real until she’s REALLY here. But it could be that I’m just…not…traditional.
Heck our baby shower was planned purposely not just for the ladies, totally co-ed, non-froo froo, in fact it’s old school video game themed. We are not ‘expecting a bundle of joy’ we’re ‘leveling up to parenthood’. See? Non-traditional.
Which brings me to my next point. That’s not bloat from a lot of food I shouldn’t have eaten. That’s a baby. It’s very, VERY obvious by this point. 8 months and change with a clear waddle…obvious. So I’m having fun with it! I’ve developed some funny responses for those typical pregnant questions (mostly because multiple times a day, if I’m running errands etc, I get asked when are you due…are you pregnant….blah blah blah…it gets old after a while.):
“Are you pregnant?”
I get asked this constantly. My response has been “Huh?….(look down) OMG! When the heck did that happen?! I had no idea!!! Jeez do you think everyone noticed? Oh man, thanks for letting me know!”
“Do you know what you’re having?”
“We’re hoping for a puppy” “A baby” or my personal favorite when out to dinner “The chicken platter”
“So….still pregnant?”
yea…due date hasn’t changed…these things usually take roughly 9 months so… “Yup…things are still marinating” “Last time I checked”
“When are you due?”
“The eviction notice is for October 28th” “At the end of the pregnancy”
Do you pee a lot?
I’ve had some people ask some pretty person questions. Little old ladies seem to go that route…total no filter.
Hand on the Belly…no invitation
So no random stranger has reached out and planted a hand on my belly….yet. I’m prepared. I’ll swing that bump away faster than race car making a left turn at Daytona Speedway! I am fully prepare though, if someone makes it through my cat like reflexes to just calmly place my hand on their belly to make it completely awkward.
Offering an adult beverage to my spouse
I was at my husband’s company picnic and a colleague explained which cooler container which type of adult beverage. They smiled at each other, he looked at me and I think offered water? I tilted my head and said “That’s it? None of those offerings for me?!…KIDDING!” His jaw hit the floor and we all laughed. Yes, alcohol consumption is a HUGE no no, and not a laughing matter but that was the perfect time and place to crack that joke.
The thing is…my husband and I have had plenty of scary doctor’s appointments, worries, stress, and beyond. We may as well have fun with it and light-hearted right now. Comedy has been how we always deal with stressful events. Heck even in our birthing class when they were talking about the different types of pain management drugs they offer, he cracked a joke with something along the lines of ‘thanks for offering but I’m all set’.
So…the thing is…you’re pregnant! Congrats! Your feet are going to swell, you’ll get grumpy, you’ll cry at a pizza commercial…HAVE FUN WITH IT!