Radios & Rattles – You Want Me To Drink What?

Glucose tolerance test, gestational diabetes….it’s serious stuff. (…I’m not a nurse nor medical professional…don’t take any of my stories/advice for anything but entertainment…seriously I have no idea what I’m doing).

So I’m aware of 2 tests. the 1 hour and the 3 hour test. 1st one they tell you not to eat or drink for a short-ish amount of time, show up,  guzzle this glorified thimble of sugary stuff that looks like Gatorade but tastes like Kool-Aid with way too much sugar and way too little water….Like a melted Popsicle  with sugar thrown on it…like the worse sugary drink on the face of the planet…like THE WORST….DRINK…EVER?!

I meant, it wasn’t THAT bad but they really do need to work on the flavor to NOT taste like sugary garbage.

I failed my 1hr test by a 8 measly points and was ordered to take a 3 hour, much more involved, test. I felt like just failed my history test back in high school….not that you can study for a blood test…but still a bit deflated and that I needed a tutor or something.

This drink was much more than the thimble-full I had before. More of the size of a small coffee but I had to drink it all in 5 mins flat or it would mess the test up, or I’d have to start over or something. I was not about the start the process over so I chugged it like a champ.

From there they told me they’d take some blood (I was SO looking forward to that…insert sarcasm here), 4 draws over the next 3 hours and I was wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything, walk farther than the waiting room…Nothing. Basically sit still for 3 hours solid.

I made myself comfortable watching old SNL episodes on YouTube while people were coming and going for their 5 min appts at the lab…they wondering just how impatient I was of a person to be all camped out with my notebook jotting down baby names, checking my phone and watching videos on my laptop.

After the final draw…DONE. I had to ask 3 times…I can leave? I can eat now? By that point if was ready to eat just about anything…Nearly ate a 3 day old french fry on the floorboard of my car. I made a b-line for the nearest Dunkin…PLAIN BAGEL WITH CREAM CHEESE PLEASE!!! (I may have shouted at the drive thru box, I don’t know…I was pretty hangry)

That was the best bagel I ever had…it never made it out of the parking lot.




PS….Passed that 3 hour test with flying colors. This kid is on the honor roll already!